Why Women Love Bad Boys

Thursday May 21, 2015 - BY Stacey


We’ve all fallen for those sexy, dynamic bad boys.

I guess we’re attracted to them for the same reasons some men go crazy for the bitchy, mean girls.

Usually the bad boys are hard to get and we become engaged in a chase of sorts and feel wonderfully accomplished if we have “captured” them. We also get to avoid true intimacy and experience a certain amount of ever –so –familiar heartache.

According to Carole Lieberman, M.D, clinical psychiatrist and author of Bad Boys: How We Love Them, How to Live with Them, When to Leave Them:

“The main reason women are attracted to bad boys is because of the relationship they had with their fathers, when they were little girls, that made them feel unlovable, not good enough to attract a prince. So they end up kissing a lot of frogs. Other issues play a part, but the main fundamental, underlying, most important issue is their relationship with their dads.”

Ouch. That is SO true.

I dated several bad boys – some of them are extremely successful actors who have made reputations for themselves and on and off screen as anything but the nice guys.

Naturally, they were dangerous and exciting and they treated me badly. On some level I must have felt that I deserved it. To my credit, though I’ve been married three times – I never married a bad boy. They are not the marrying kind.

We girls like the adrenaline rush we get with a bad boy – they are far from boring and make us feel alive and wanting.

In the recent film adaptation of Thomas Hardy’s “Far From the Madding Crowd”, the female protagonist, Bathsheba Everdeen, has two men madly in love with her and she turns down both their marriage proposals and falls for – you got it – the bad boy soldier, who has no problem letting her know that he’s really in love with someone else who is more beautiful than Bathsheba. She is smitten.

And so, for you women out there who are stuck in a cycle with a bad boy, have your fun for a while but then get out there and find a nice boy (and perhaps a good therapist, if necessary).

Life may be devoid of drama with a good guy, but hopefully, you will learn to love and care for yourself the way he loves you.

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