My Knitted Boyfriend

Wednesday Apr 9, 2014 - BY Stacey


Knitted boyfriend substitutes are ‘hot’ stuff

My Knitted Boyfriend is today’s version of a Pet Rock. In other words – it has enormous marketing potential. And that’s about it.

Honestly, if you are that desperate to have a boyfriend, you need to seek psychiatric help.
I mean, it doesn’t even have usable parts to make it at least a fun sex toy!

If one of the available knitted gentlemen is really in lieu of a man, because you have given up on ever connecting with a real live male, again, I can give you the numbers of some excellent therapists.

Perhaps, the Knitted Boyfriend has been chosen only to be brought home and tortured, pulled apart limb from limb or poked with sharp needles a la voodoo doll, well, that’s really frigging hostile and just plain sick.

If the woolly fellow is yours because you are making a statement that all men are so imperfect and so messed up that THIS is the sole male you will ever date because you loathe and despise all men, then – please seek counsel – you have major issues that need to be resolved and no amount of knitted dolls or fluffy real life cats will heal.

Now, when some lonely, nerdy guy creates his Knitted Girlfriend because he wants one so badly, then I may revisit the Knitted Boyfriend – either to fix her up with MKB or as a wonderful chew toy for my dogs.


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