It’s Halloween, Not April Fools’ Day

Wednesday Oct 31, 2012 - BY Stacey

"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated." -Mark Twain

Happy Halloween! You know, that holiday where you get to dress up and beg strangers for candy. If it seems silly to you that I’m describing  because it seems that someone has confused this holiday with April Fool’s Day by foretelling my demise for tomorrow, November 1st.

 

Thankfully, I weathered the storm just fine with my family in New York, much more comfortably than a lot of other people who were flooded and/or have lost power. So to quote Mark Twain (though I’m far less notable than this man of American letters), “The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.”

 

I am personally tickled that this false future obit has me married to Woody Allen, which is obviously not true. (I’m on my third marriage and none of them have been to Woody.) It’s as though the author of it never heard of Mia Farrow or Soon Yi.

 

Also, the obit failed to cite cause of death. Allow to suggest a few totally plausible scenarios.

 

A. A visit to LA, which depressed me and prompted my long thought about jump off the Hollywood sign.
B. Getting hit by a car while trying to shoo away a bunch of pigeons.
C. Read a joke obit that I was laughing so hard about I had a heart attack.

 

And I will go about my day tomorrow unconcerned about this so-called “prediction.” Personally, I think we have more to worry about the Mayan apocalypse (or the next ancient end-of-days extravaganza that’s been foretold) than any crazy internet rumor.

 

So get dressed up in your ghoulish finest, get some candy, and have an amazing Halloween!

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