Nagging – Toxic For Marriages
Friday Jan 27, 2012 - BY Stacey
What is more common than adultery, potentially as toxic, and considered by experts to be lethal for most marriages?
No, this isn’t a joke though comedians for decades have made their wives’ nagging the brunt of many a joke. When a wife repeatedly bugs her husband about a certain issue, the husband shuts down and doesn’t deal with the topic at hand. In this scenario, everyone loses–the husband feels badgered (or babied) and the wife feels like her needs are being ignored.
It’s this type of poor communication that can kill a marriage -and it’s a slow and torturous death.
The real issue, I think, is that women and men are so intrinsically different. We are biologically different and soon, I believe, they will discover how differently our brains are wired.
For instance, on as daily basis, both my husband and my 11-year-old son lose or forget things. I have countless female friends who witness the same with the males in their families. Let me tell you something : it’s very hard to NOT nag when that happens!
We women, all too easily, become the “mommy” to our husbands in a scenario like that, another lose/lose situation. Men don’t really want us to be “mommy” (even though they act like babies), and we don’t want that to them either.
Nagging and/or being nagged are very subjective–some men are capable of being asked to do something over and over and won’t experience it as being nagged, while for others, the slightest suggestion of being told what to do is considered relentless nagging.
Good communication is truly the best way to prevent the demise of any relationship.
You can weather any storm–from infidelity to unsexy nagging–by getting to the root of all kinds of issues with your partner.
But here’s where those differences come into play again: men typically, don’t like to talk much , and we gals can yap, yap, yap. Makes communicating a little difficult, doesn’t it?
In our minds, we’re simply “being helpful,” but that can be experienced as “nagging.”